[ A snort. This is a pay-at-the-front sort of place, so he pulls out his wallet and hands over a stack of cash to the cashier. It's thrillingly subversive, knowing that he's getting access to as much food as he can possibly eat; he might not have the nerve for it, except that, well...Well. Cordelia had suggested it. And he guesses that being with her makes...Sometimes it makes things that ought to be frightening a little less so.
[ She's nothing but calm and reassuring as they pick out a table and set their items down, waiting for the drink order before they get up to peruse the food stalls around the place. ]
Oh, he hides it pretty well, had to learn how to. But he does.
[ Awkwardly, he looks over to where the food is, and then looks back to Cordelia - and then hates himself a little, or a lot, when he realizes he's looking for permission from her. He can...get food whenever he wants to get food. He has that right. He's free.
Sort of.
When Lucifer turns me loose on all of you, you won't be looking at me with that smile, lady. You'll probably be holding me down while Gregor cuts.
He stands up and goes for a plate. ]
Yeah, well. Or metaphorical throat-cutting, I guess. My point is just that...There are people who matter, and people who don't.
[ She can't just...say something like that and then - walk away from him. Can she? She - she's just - He's torn between his hunger for that food - he's creeped out that it's not vat-meat too, but that's way outweighed by how it smells - and for knowledge. Well, the food is spread out and easy to obtain, so - chasing down the knowledge it is. ]
What does that mean?
[ He shuffles along on his short legs - curses, not for the first time, his abbreviated stride - in pursuit of her. ]
What - what happened - after? What are you talking about?
[ She's not running at least, just making determined strides past the meats, but she slows and turns for him when she hears his question and pursuit. ]
Well, to be fair, I don't remember much either. Just vague impressions from that time we all changed ages. I remember having a conversation with you about it – parts of it, anyway.
[ He swallows against a dry mouth. Why hadn't he led with asking her about that? Why hadn't he found out weeks ago that she remembered it? Well. Aside from just wanting to avoid the whole thing. ]
[ He starts to resist - and then looks at the food, and thinks about how hungry he is - achingly hungry, cruelly hungry - and so he surrenders and gets a plate piled high with food. Really piled high; he's hungry, yeah, and anxiety is maybe driving him to get more than he should. Consequently, when he gets to the table, he doesn't meet Countess Vorkosigan's eyes, too ashamed by the sheer weight and volume of the food he got. Instead, he just hunches over it, his posture defensive - or maybe just defensive of the food, like a hawk huddling over its meal to keep it from being taken away - and starts shoving it in, waiting for her to talk. Hoping she'll talk. ]
[ He looks up at her, then, and then away, a knot of shame tight in his chest. Swallows the mouthful of food and tries - tries hard - to slow down his eating. God, it's not easy. He could eat the table itself out of anxiety. ]
So, uh...Yeah. You were saying? About - what you remember.
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Well, I'm good at my job. So it's working out okay.
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Anyway. ]
Seems unlikely.
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Oh, he hides it pretty well, had to learn how to. But he does.
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He'd cut my throat if it meant safety for any of you.
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Not very practical to do that here, I'm afraid. From what I've heard you'd just come back. Not that I'd think it would get that far in any case.
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[ Awkwardly, he looks over to where the food is, and then looks back to Cordelia - and then hates himself a little, or a lot, when he realizes he's looking for permission from her. He can...get food whenever he wants to get food. He has that right. He's free.
Sort of.
When Lucifer turns me loose on all of you, you won't be looking at me with that smile, lady. You'll probably be holding me down while Gregor cuts.
He stands up and goes for a plate. ]
Yeah, well. Or metaphorical throat-cutting, I guess. My point is just that...There are people who matter, and people who don't.
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And you think you're part of the latter group?
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To the emperor of an entire planet? I would think so.
[ And to everyone else on every planet. I've never mattered. Not as a person. No one cares about a clone - just about what a clone can do for them. ]
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[ And with that, she takes her own plate and wanders down the aisles, skipping ahead past the meat options. ]
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What does that mean?
[ He shuffles along on his short legs - curses, not for the first time, his abbreviated stride - in pursuit of her. ]
What - what happened - after? What are you talking about?
[ I thought she'd forgotten everything... ]
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Well, to be fair, I don't remember much either. Just vague impressions from that time we all changed ages. I remember having a conversation with you about it – parts of it, anyway.
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What...parts do you remember?
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Hey, slow down there kiddo, we can take our time. Unless you have an another appointment later?
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So, uh...Yeah. You were saying? About - what you remember.
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Like I said, just vague parts. But I think the bigger, more important parts.
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What's big? What's important? As far as you're concerned. Uh - just - we talked about a lot of things.
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Two things, really. One, why you look like Miles, and two, your name that you agreed to live by.
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All of the reason I look like Miles?
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