[ She makes a vague hand gesture as if waving it off. ]
Okay, maybe not hiring them. But what about asking? Hiring them might be inviting them to dig, but asking as a friend? Comrade? That puts a different spin on snooping.
And you're technically Dendarii too by being the finance guy. I would think Dendarii would protect their own.
Asking would be even worse. Then Miles would convince himself he had a right to know, because he's helping me out. And I don't want him knowing. Any of it.
[ She hears the change in his voice and she raises a hand in surrender. ]
All right, all right. I won't say a word about it. But I can just as easily imagine him getting offended that you hired out and will want to know what you're hiding from him.
There's nothing I can do? I should just expect him to find out? He already basically treats me like some possession of his now, when he just thinks I look like him. I can't even imagine how he'll treat me if he finds out that it's not just a coincidence that I look like this.
You continue to do what you're doing. If he does find out, it won't be from you or me, and that's as far as we can control. I don't believe Duv will say anything either since I asked him not to, and he hasn't yet.
As for how he'll treat you ... it'll be like a brother, if memory serves, as vague as it is by now.
[ He stares at her cluelessly. A side-effect of having a childhood like his childhood: you miss out on little-kid culture. And any and all descriptions of what girls do with their hair. ]
Oh. It's a constructed schoolyard social fiction. Boy pulling on a girl's hair to get her attention when the boy likes the girl and wants to hide the fact he likes her.
[ A knell of dread pounds through him. He draws back a bit. It shouldn't have occurred to him, of course - what does it make him, that this even occurs to him - but how many times had Galen described the Vor - and the Vorkosigans particularly - as incestuous perverts, sodomites lusting after their own families? So, a little shakily, he says - ]
You don't mean...like. In that sense. Do you?
[ And, also, because there are some clones made for that purpose. He knows that, too. Not in Bharaputra's labs, usually, but in Ryoval's. It's hard to imagine anyone coveting this face that he hates so much, but... ]
[ Relief and shame bloom through him in equal amounts. He's embarrassed that he even thought - But grateful, beyond grateful, that that's not it. That it's innocent. Just uncomplicated family sentiment.
Uncomplicated. Right. Ha. There's a joke. ]
Sorry. Um - I guess I don't know him so well yet. So I don't know...
[ It's an awkward excuse, and sounds fake, but it's not completely untrue. He doesn't know Miles well. All he has is his training - training that's programmed him to think of the Vorkosigans as - well. As a group of perverts and tyrants. He sort of wishes that that was still how he thought of them. ]
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jacksonian) wrote2016-03-05 11:05 am
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No. Never. Miles would take that as an open invitation to dig.
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Okay, maybe not hiring them. But what about asking? Hiring them might be inviting them to dig, but asking as a friend? Comrade? That puts a different spin on snooping.
And you're technically Dendarii too by being the finance guy. I would think Dendarii would protect their own.
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Asking would be even worse. Then Miles would convince himself he had a right to know, because he's helping me out. And I don't want him knowing. Any of it.
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You know he'll pry.
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All right, all right. I won't say a word about it. But I can just as easily imagine him getting offended that you hired out and will want to know what you're hiding from him.
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So I won't tell him.
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Tell me how that goes for you.
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I've managed to keep my secrets from him this long. I can continue to do so.
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[ He hunches his shoulders. ]
There's nothing I can do? I should just expect him to find out? He already basically treats me like some possession of his now, when he just thinks I look like him. I can't even imagine how he'll treat me if he finds out that it's not just a coincidence that I look like this.
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As for how he'll treat you ... it'll be like a brother, if memory serves, as vague as it is by now.
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[ He shifts uncomfortably. ]
He doesn't respect me now. When I say don't, he just talks over me.
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My...pig-tail...?
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[ She waves it off. ]
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You don't mean...like. In that sense. Do you?
[ And, also, because there are some clones made for that purpose. He knows that, too. Not in Bharaputra's labs, usually, but in Ryoval's. It's hard to imagine anyone coveting this face that he hates so much, but... ]
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[ Relief and shame bloom through him in equal amounts. He's embarrassed that he even thought - But grateful, beyond grateful, that that's not it. That it's innocent. Just uncomplicated family sentiment.
Uncomplicated. Right. Ha. There's a joke. ]
Sorry. Um - I guess I don't know him so well yet. So I don't know...
[ It's an awkward excuse, and sounds fake, but it's not completely untrue. He doesn't know Miles well. All he has is his training - training that's programmed him to think of the Vorkosigans as - well. As a group of perverts and tyrants. He sort of wishes that that was still how he thought of them. ]
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... Would you like to?
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I...I can't. He'd - want to get to know me back.
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